arenvald "actual human sunshine" lentinus (
paladorable) wrote2018-06-30 09:24 am
Entry tags:
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"Hello, you've reached Arenvald. If I'm doing this right,
you should be able to leave me a message."
voice • video • text • action
"Hello, you've reached Arenvald. If I'm doing this right,
you should be able to leave me a message."
voice • video • text • action

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Do they? What are they called?
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[Phoentically close, which is interesting.]
Not too far off the mark, actually.
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[ That's super weird actually, to think that his best friend is a fantasy story. ]
None of the others ring a bell, though?
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[That's the interesting part about these other worlds and alternate universes -- the similarities shared between them were almost as baffling as the differences.]
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It’s so strange to have to explain things that, to him, are as normal as breathing, but more and more he has realized that every world varies, sometimes drastically. Hydaelyn seems to vary more than most. If Connor has a desire to learn about it, then he’ll indulge him as best he can. ]
So, anything else seem familiar?
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He shakes his head.]
No. Nothing specific. Though it still sounds as if they belong like something out of a tale or a myth, if you were to describe them to a normal human in my world.
I do like hearing about your world, though. It's good, I think, for me to be able to readjust my baseline for "normalcy" this way.
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[ He grins. It’s good that they both get something out of this, at least. ]
So, if you have any other questions, all you have to do is ask.
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Still, he pauses. There is a question bouncing around in his head, one that he’s shelved until he felt it was proper to ask it. But with Arenvald’s invite laid before him, now is as good of a time as any.]
I do have one question, if you think now is a good time for it. About your— [His eyes flick up to his friend’s forehead, just briefly, a hint of what he wishes to know before he even utters the words.] —scars. The story behind them.
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[ His own eyes flick upwards. Not that he can look at his own forehead, so it’s more of an acknowledgement of what Connor is looking at.
He was expecting this to come up, considering Connor walked in on him bare-faced (and bare everything else, for that matter), and there was no missing the way Connor’s gaze had landed on his forehead then, either. Still, he hesitates a little, if only because he needs a second to steel himself. ]
I don’t mind. Just know it’s not going to be a pleasant story.
[ He presses his lips together, drawing them into a thin line as he considers the best place to start. ] You recall my telling you about Ala Mhigo, yeah? How, after the fall of the Mad King, it was invaded and subjugated by the Garlean Empire?
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But he can’t garner a full story from only observation. And so he’ll listen, his face falling into something a little more serious than before, and he nods.]
Yes. I do remember you telling me that.
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[ A beat, as he lets that sink in. The circumstances of his birth may never stop being an uncomfortable subject. ]
My very existence seemed to cause my mother anguish, I could see it in her eyes when she looked at me that I was naught more than a reminder of the worst moment of her life. She wasn’t kind to me by any means, and one day she…
[ Another pause, but only because he realizes there is some context here that Connor is missing. Once again, he has to relay a tale knowing that the finer details are all but alien to his friend, but this is the first time it’s been something so deeply personal. ]
Ah, I should explain. Pureblood Garleans have a third eye, set in the center of their forehead. It’s not quite an actual eyeball, and rather looks a bit like a pearl set in the skin. In any case, my mother became convinced that I had the start of one coming in. She took up a knife, and… [ He makes a vague hand motion at the angry scars slashed across his forehead, dripping onto his face, as if to say, “you know.” ]
She cast me out not long after that. I was just a boy at the time, a half-Garlean mongrel, left to fend for myself on the streets.
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And yet Connor makes the willful decision to discard all of that. What Arenvald tells him is deeply personal, those scars on his forehead now possessing a weightier meaning than he could’ve guessed at. A terrible moment couched in another terrible moment. He can’t hope to imagine what it must’ve been like for him. Fear, pain, the trauma of memory to be etched in skin.
Strange, how when he wants to reply with something not wrought from subroutines, words seem less ready to leap from his lips. That other core of himself is perpetually less suited for this, maybe, but Arenvald deserves only a sincere response.]
I’m… sorry. I can’t imagine how awful that must’ve been for you. And I understand now why you’d rather cover your scars rather than let them show.
[It was more than just vanity. It was a very raw, personal part of himself, Connor thinks; why allow strangers to look upon it as if it were nothing?]
Does it make you… uncomfortable? That I’ve seen them?
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In fact, Connor is the only one to have seen him without his warpaint. Even before Connor asks, he knows the answer. He knows that he's strangely okay with this, the initial embarrassment aside. ]
Uncomfortable? No. I... I trust you with this, Connor. I decided I would trust you with it when you asked back on Struxta.
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Thank you. I'm glad that you trust me enough to tell me something which probably isn't easy for you to talk about.
[They've both had their turns at it, haven't they?
He pauses, pursing his lips together, before venturing further.]
It must've been difficult, after that. Fending for yourself, by yourself?
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This is different. It is grim and heavy to be sure, but there is a measure of comfort here as well. ]
No, it was… quite difficult. The best thing I can say about those years was that I survived, but I’m not proud of the things I did to get there, begging and stealing and worse with naught to my name but a dagger and whatever scraps I could lay my hands on.
Then one day something clicked into place. I looked in the mirror and realized I hated the animal I’d become. I fell in with the first group of refugees I could, bound for the border and out of Ala Mhigo. Once we crossed out of Garlean territory, I took up life as an adventurer. I earned an honest living as best I could and ‘twas only some time after that my Echo began to awaken and guided me to the Scions’ door.
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He’s seen it in deviants too. That stubborn desire to cling to what they thought was life, the way they looked at him, with that vicious, last-gasp defiance they all shared.
Connor swallows thickly, though he has no need to. He’s glad, at least, that his friend was able to pull himself out of that dark period of his life.]
You’re a very strong individual, Arenvald. Most would let experiences like that change their personality and perception of life into something bleak. Something that followed them constantly. But it appears as if the opposite applies, in your case.
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Someone very important to me once said that I am free to write my own story. I try to live by that as best I can.
[ His eyes flick over, catching Connor’s gaze. ]
There should have been no future for someone like me, some wretched, starving half-breed with a scar on his face and no food in his belly. But somehow… I moved beyond that. I became more than what I was made to be, and I can only hope that I do better every day.
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Connor glances to the side briefly, sets his jaw. But nods, because despite whatever flickers within the ring of his LED, he is truly glad to hear it for his friend.]
I’m sure that you will. [He looks at Arenvald again.] All of us have been doing good since our arrival here. Helping foreign worlds and the people on them. Whatever circumstances that may come to define you in the future, it can only be a positive result.
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What if you are simply meant to be more than your program?
It is something he still believes of his friend, that despite his origins in some factory and the fact that is is electricity thrumming beneath his skin instead of a pulse, he is still a person. Connor, too, is free to write his own story. ]
I certainly hope so. I still don't really agree with Astoria more or less conscripting us, but I do feel good about what we've accomplished.
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If he knows there's a point that his friend is trying to gently make, read via implication and memory of a conversation they've had once before, Connor willfully does not mention it or bring it to light.
If nothing else, his stubborn streak is indelible.]
It's hard to complain about a successful mission, even if none of us are here on our own accord. I hope it's the beginning of a trend.
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[ It feels good to succeed, regardless of why or how they're here. ]
By the way, let me know if there's anything I can do to help you out. With Hank, I mean, but in general, too.
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[He does have one final curiosity, though.]
Did you speak with Hank for very long?
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[ He frowns, unsure if he wants to explain to Connor that Hank somehow got an express ticket onto his bad side. Surely he doesn't need to worry about that on top of everything else. ]
His dog ran off, so I helped him find it. After that we chatted a bit and I tried my level best to explain what was going on, but he wasn't really having it. We split up not long after that.
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What did you think of him?
[And in a very Connor-like fashion, he asks bluntly.]
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Well, I uh... I suppose he didn't strike me as someone I'd want to spend a lot of time with.
[ That's putting it nicely, right? ]
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